Tamara Trusseau
The ‘Ex’ Dilemma
What should we do when an ex returns? Do we kiss, hug, forget the past and make up or do we get angry and outraged at his audacity for thinking he can just walk back in? Sometimes we can end up feeling both angry and forgiving at the same time! From a logical perspective if a relationship has ended, we should be able to accept it and move on. From an emotional angle however, it can be a very different story.
When it comes to an ending, rarely does any scenario include a sudden and complete emotional closure. Whether this is due to a bruised ego, false hope or sheer reluctance to digest the reality of the situation, misplaced emotions can play havoc with the true contents of an undesirable relationship.
However, does this mean that any situation involving an ex can only be construed as disastrous? Not necessarily, but the original reasons behind the break up should not be ignored. Understandably, when an ex returns, the situation is often fuelled by an overwhelming sense of emotional energy. Nevertheless, this does not mean that all the words and events that had caused heartache and pain should be conveniently sidetracked, so as to justify the rekindling of the union. While this method of self-preservation may prove useful for a limited period of time, it will eventually be overcome by another natural instinct; the desire to feel secure in a relationship.
Love is precious and as such, must be treated with utmost sincerity and respect. This does not imply that problems do not exist in relationships. It merely reinforces the importance of truth and clarity. An ex could have become an ex because a particular relationship outgrew its relevance. Alternatively, an ex may return, because lessons have been learned and it is now possible to implement and enjoy newly acquired dynamics. The road to emotional fulfilment can only begin with a desire to acknowledge the facts that lie behind the illusion. The real answer will ultimately emerge from the simple pages of the truth.
Gooooooooooood Morning Gorgeous Tamara xxx
Every ex dilemma
Sometimes we forget what is really important whshould be handled individually depending on the situation.
en it comes to romantic relationships…We let our pride and expectations take priority over true Love and acceptance of the other. We make a list of endless conditions that can’t always be met because we are human, after all and are all caught up in our own little worlds.
Some love stories never end, they go their separate ways for a while but always come back together eventually. Sometimes exs are exs for a reason and there is no longer space for them in your life.
They say that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime…
I feel that following your instincts is the best way to deal with the return of an ex…and, if you still can’t work it out, call the
Love Goddess and she will sort it out
Love U lots hunni xxxxx mwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaah xxxxxxxxxxxGG
Hi beautiful Tamara. I love your style of writing and your words of wisdom.
Great topic today from you and just wanted to say that i believe that you should never go back to an ex, but instead move forwards, no matter whos fault it was for the breakup.. Learn from the experience. Love as you stated is very very special.
I have had afew relationships which have not turned out right for me. But i do understand that an ‘ex’ did became an ‘ex’ because there was sometime wrong in that ralationship.
I do believe that that special person will come for me and make me feel secure and fully loved. But until then i will keep learning from my expereinces and grow from them emotionally and spirituality as well..
LnL xxx Jessie
Hi Tamara,
Thank you for the readings that you have given me regarding the situation with my ex, and his return into my life.
The part that really stood out for me in your blog today is ” Alternatively, an ex may return, because lessons have been learned and it is now possible to implement and enjoy newly acquired dynamics”.
I am hoping that, like me, my ex has also seen where we went wrong before and we can ove forward and forge a stronger union.
Thank you for your help so far xx
Regularly, I tune in to the Breakfast shows, on in the background, as I prepare myself for the day ahead, listening to the wonderfully insightful and highly educational discussions brought about from the thoroughly well thought out topical content, the helpful and dedicated psychics write in their daily blogs.
Psychic Interactive offers a variety of truly gifted psychics, old and new, but like every viewer we each have our own favourite that we can resonate with.
For me, Tamara’s bold, resourcefully courageous approach/solutions to life’s trials and tribulations, combined with Adams consistent reminder of one’s self worth and importance, Katie’s kind and honest practical guidance in boosting self confidence and Lyn’s fun and enlightening approach to her down to earth readings, have provided me with the right guidance to achieve my own personal aims. Thank you.
Recently I have found the topics becoming more relevant to my current situation, especially Tamara’s recent blog, The ‘Ex’ Dilemma, a show I sadly missed due to work, but was able to catch up on, with thanks to your amazing user friendly website. Although a fantastically insightful and logical blog, I do believe that there are two sides to a coin.
For my situation, though sometimes I feel I’ve gone through the notions, I am not an ’Ex’ to the person I wished to re-unite with. I made mistakes, and though it took some time, with the guidance of close friends and these wonderfully gifted psychics, I managed sort myself out and change my destructive ways. A leopard can change his spots and I feel so much better for it.
However in trying to re-connect with this person, many times, Tamara is right, actually I only ended up aggravating the situation and angering them further more. I couldn’t understand why they didn’t want to have me in their life and though I felt outside and incorrect, ill advice from those who didn’t know me, interference, was the reason for this persons refusal to communicate with me, to give me a chance, it was actually my own wrong doings, negative attitude and persistence that pushed them further away. The more I tried to right the situation, the more I made it worse. I was under ‘’false hope’’ and ‘’sheer reluctance to digest the reality of the situation.’’
I was aware of the problems I un-intentionally might be creating, however it was not the result I was aiming for. Yet I still persisted, my heart over ruled my head. Standing up for these ’Ex’s’, sometimes the need/desire to re-connect/re-kindle is greater, and though you may understand your return might cause the other stress and pain, there is always the underlying hope that it may work out, and with lessons learnt, might be better.
I know I still wish it would, and maybe they will one day offer me that chance to get it right.
‘’Alternatively an ex may return because lessons have been learnt and it is now possible to implement and enjoy newly acquired dynamics,’’ is where I’ve been trying to come from, and I just hope that I may get that chance to prove and experience that, preferring to put actions to my words.
If you just dismiss an ’Ex’s’ return by pre-construing any re-unions as disastrous because it ‘’outgrew its relevance’’ or that there are hidden agendas or even that others may disapprove, I feel you will always be wondering, what if. Isn’t it better to know and by opening up those channels of communication, taking a chance, confronting the situation in a positive light, you can find out first hand. If it still doesn’t marry up to your expectations, then there is always that option to put it to rest once and for all, but with the knowledge that you tried.
Who knows, it may work this time. It may be one of the greatest risks you’ll have ever taken. History isn’t recorded from secondary sources, but made in taking chances.
Many Thanks, keep up the good work XXX