Your Dream Psychic

Step Into Other’s Shoes

It’s very easy for us to look at others and judge, criticise or become angry with their decisions. Other’s decisions are made by exercising free-will, which we also have. How then can we become angry with someone for using free-will to make a decision? It’s simple – we disagree with their decision.

Of course we are allowed to disagree with other’s decisions, as we too have our own capacity to exercise our judgements and values as we view people, situations and life events.  However, I think it can be very helpful to step into another’s shoes before we become too steeped in judgement.

Sometime ago someone I know became quite concerned about a friendship that was dwindling. They complained that because the person was married that they had ‘changed’ and they seem to no longer value their lifelong friendship. The friend had cancelled 2 meetings and didn’t make another date to meet up. This person was very upset and took it on board as a personal sleight. When we looked more closely at the situation, I asked her to examine what a marriage entailed and how a new agreement such as a marriage might require adjustment, change and some manuevering. We also looked at other issues around her friend’s life and found that the friend had recently lost a child, had a parent who was suffering from the onslaught of dementia, and they had just moved into a new home. All in all, the reason her friend seemed to have a limited amount of time, seemed distant and had cancelled their last 2 meetings was that they were bereaved,  stressed, worried about their parent, and trying to settle into a new home. Does this sound like a personal sleight?

It’s amazing how we can too easily become so absorbed in our own needs that we forget what other people might need. We co-exist and live simultaneously with others, not bi-laterally. We can experience happiness whilst in the same second another experiences sadness. We can be in a relationship whilst others are not. It is rare that we will live and know people who are completely and utterly living our exact same moments. And so when we think we are out of sync with someone, we are really just living the same life, but differently.

The next time you feel that someone is ignoring you, or not there for you, or treating you badly on purpose, or just feeling out of sync with someone, take a moment to step out of your shoes and into theirs.  Whilst in their shoes, what’s going on for them? What do you see? What do you experience? Notice what they need to acquire or change or do to fulfil what you think is lacking. As you stand in their shoes, can they do this?

If the answer is no, try to let go of your judgements. Send them love and compassion.

If the answer is yes, try to let go of your judgements. Send them love and compassion.

We may all be living simultaneously, but everyone will have arrived with different sets of tools with which to live.

Today, I’d love to hear from you about your views on others when you disagree with what they are doing, the decisions they are making, and their choices. Are you able to still love them?

Let’s look at your situations and see an easier & lighter way to live with it.

Love & Blessings,

Sha